To Stay and Fight
by FieryFaerie
Summary: ‘Is she worth it?’ he thought, watching her lean over gracefully to trail her fingers through the clear water, ‘Is she worth what I would lose? Is it worth it to stay and fight?’ InuyashaKikyo ONESHOT


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Inuyasha.

**Author's Note:** This was written as a gift!fic for alfb on the livejournal community iyflashfic's September assignment!

His first instinct was to run away, but then she smiled, and he felt himself nod in agreement before his legs could carry him away. With a sigh, he acquiesced, and followed Kikyo down to the shore of the lake.

"I just want to show you something, Inuyasha," Kikyo said, taking hold of one of his long sleeves and pulling him along gently, "it won't take long, I promise." Inuyasha blushed and mumbled a "keh," staring at the hand that held his sleeve as they walked.

-o-O-o-

The water was calm and smooth, the only disturbance extending in the form of ripples from the long pole that Inuyasha used to propel the tiny boat through the water. Kikyo had pointed them in the right general direction, and now it had been silent for several minutes. Inuyasha marveled at how comfortable the silence was.

How had this happened? That he was comfortable just _being_ with someone? Inuyasha had never let his guard down this much around anyone since his mother died. There had never been anyone who'd been willing to get to know him enough. But here they were, and she was willing. She'd let down her guard too, and had her back to him now, simply watching the ripples extend over the lake that mirrored the sky.

_'I could take it right now,'_ he thought, glancing at the Shikon no Tama which hung around Kikyo's neck, _'She's let her guard down…I could kill her and take the jewel and get what I've always wanted.'_ He held his breath, suddenly afraid that Kikyo could read his thoughts, and he began to reevaluate his musings.

Was that really what he wanted? To kill her? She was the one person he'd ever met that hadn't treated him as something to be despised and spit upon and tossed away like garbage. Did he _really_ want to give that up for something he didn't even understand? Kikyo was even willing to give him the jewel, if only he would choose to use it so that they could be together, as humans.

To _be_ with her. Inuyasha had never allowed himself the luxury of imagining what it would be like to find someone to share his life with. He'd been told from a very young age that he wasn't worth it. That he wasn't worth being loved and that no woman would ever see him as anything other than a filthy hanyou. But Kikyo wanted him. Whether it was out of convenience or love didn't matter, because somehow she'd come to care for him.

And hadn't he come to care for her as well? Inuyasha stopped rowing for a moment as it hit him. He _wanted_ to be with her. The thought scared him, and once again his first thought was to run away. That it would just be easier to continue his life the way it had been before _she'd_ come along and confused him so deeply.

_'No,'_ he thought, pulling the boat forward once again with another stroke of the pole, _'I can't run anymore. I don't want to spend my whole life running.'_

Inuyasha glanced again at the jewel hanging from Kikyo's neck. _'But she wants me to become human,'_ he thought with a frown. To become human, he would lose the very power he had been trying to gain in stealing the Shikon no Tama in the first place. In becoming human he would have to trust that Kikyo was true to her word, and would have him.

_'Is she worth it?'_ he thought, watching her lean over gracefully to trail her fingers through the clear water, _'Is she worth what I would lose? Is it worth it to stay and fight?'_ Kikyo suddenly turned around, jerking him out of his thoughts.

"We're almost there," she said, pointing to a small cove on the shore which had come into view while Inuyasha was lost in thought. Inuyasha just stared at her for a moment, studying her features, trying to read her worth on her face. "Inuyasha?" she said, cocking her head to one side.

"What?" he said quickly, focusing on her eyes.

"I said, we're almost there," she said with a smile that made her eyes sparkle. Years of focusing on duty had meant that she didn't often smile, and Inuyasha decided that her smile was beautiful.

In that smile his doubts washed away. He wanted to be there to see her smile like that every day. If the jewel didn't exist she wouldn't have to protect it anymore. If he used the jewel to become human she could forget about her duty, and it would be easier for her to smile. That would be worth it, just so she could smile.

_'I'll stay and fight,'_ he thought decidedly, with a smile of his own, _'So you don't have to.'_


End file.
